Three Simple Behavior Strategies That Actually Work
Parenting Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard - 3 Strategies to Make Life Easier!
If you’re a parent, you’ve probably had at least one (or a hundred) moments where you thought, “Why is everything a battle?” Whether it’s getting your child to put on shoes, finish a meal, or transition away from a favorite activity, behavior challenges can feel overwhelming.
But here’s the good news: small changes can make a big difference. The key is using simple, proven strategies that reduce power struggles and help your child feel more in control. These aren’t magic tricks, but they work, and they’re easy to start using today!
1. “First, Then” = Fewer Battles
Children thrive on predictability, and “First, Then” statements create clear expectations without unnecessary power struggles.
Instead of: “You can’t have your tablet until you clean up!”
Try: “First, we clean up, then tablet time.”
Why It Works: This structure keeps the focus on what needs to happen first, rather than on the restriction. It also helps kids understand that a preferred activity is coming, making them more willing to comply.
How to Use It:
· “First, brush your teeth, then we’ll read a book.”
· “First, finish your homework, then you can go outside.”
Bonus tip: It works for adults too! First laundry, then Netflix
2. Give Two Choices Instead of Asking Open-Ended Questions
Ever asked your child what they want for lunch and immediately regretted it?
Instead of: “What do you want for lunch?” (Cue: “I don’t know” or an epic meltdown.)
Try: “Do you want a sandwich or chicken nuggets?”
Why It Works: Many kids struggle with open-ended questions. Too many options can feel overwhelming, which can lead to avoidance or frustration. Offering two choices gives them control, but within boundaries you set.
How to Use It:
· “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?”
· “Do you want to clean up now or in five minutes?”
When kids feel like they have a say, they’re much less likely to resist.
3. Catch the Good Stuff
It’s easy to focus on what’s not going well (“Stop jumping on the couch!”), but kids respond better when we notice and praise the behaviors we want to see more of.
Instead of:
· “Stop yelling!”
· “Stop running in the house!”
Try:
· “I love how you’re using a quiet voice right now!”
· “Great job walking inside the house!”
Why It Works: Kids thrive on attention, so let’s give more of it to the behaviors we want to see. Positive reinforcement encourages kids to repeat the desired behaviors.
Pro Tip: If you struggle to remember to do this, set a goal to praise your child 5 times per hour (especially when you’re working on a challenging behavior). It sounds like a lot, but once you get in the habit, it makes a huge difference!
Final Thoughts: Small Changes = Big Wins
Parenting is tough, and no strategy works 100% of the time. But these small, research-backed techniques can help reduce power struggles, increase cooperation, and create a more peaceful home.
